One Simple Question To Make A Big Difference

With the holiday season in full swing, it’s so easy to get swept up in the whirlwind of activities—school productions, gift shopping, social events, and endless to-dos. Often the feelings of exhaustion, loneliness and anxiety seem to be more real than the hope, connection and joy we all sing about. Unfortunately, I think this isn't a "holiday issue." I believe it is a "me" issue. 

How do we shift this?

Somewhere between wrapping presents and crossing off to-dos, we often forget to ask ourselves the simplest question:

“What do I actually want right now?”

I don't think it is a coincidence that the One whose birth we celebrate during this season began His ministry with this question, "What are you seeking?" (John 1:38). This question cuts to the heart and invites us right to the present. 

I noticed this at our office Christmas party this year. I’d spent weeks planning, wanting everything to go smoothly for everyone. The night arrived, and while the laughter and conversations filled the room, I caught myself feeling oddly disconnected—like I was watching the evening happen rather than being in it.

So I paused. Took a breath. And quietly asked that question again.

What I wanted was simple: to enjoy it. To actually be with the people around me. To laugh, taste, notice, and not keep scanning the room for what needed to be done next.

That moment—barely a minute long—shifted everything.

We underestimate how quickly the holidays can pull us into performance mode. We want to give, to host, to care well, but in doing so we sometimes drift away from ourselves, the present and the real reason we are where we are. The pause doesn’t have to be long or dramatic; sometimes it’s just that gentle inward check-in that redirects our attention.

When we take that pause, we stop reacting to the chaos and start responding with intention. Our tone softens. We listen differently. We find ourselves laughing again instead of managing moments.

The people we love don’t need a flawless dinner table or the perfect gift. They need our attention, our warmth, our presence. They need us! We deserve to meet ourselves with the same care and compassion we offer others.

So, if you find yourself stretched thin this month, try this: before walking into a gathering, before sending that next email, before overthinking the seating chart, stop and ask, “What do I want right now?”

Maybe the answer is to breathe. Maybe it’s to step outside for a second. Maybe it’s to really listen to the story your friend is telling. Whatever it is, that’s the way back to connection. 

This season, may we practice slowing down just enough to notice what’s already good. May we choose connection over control, awareness over autopilot, presence over performance. Sometimes, all it takes is asking ourselves a quiet question at the right moment, and slowing down long enough to listen to the answer.